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March 31, 2012

The American Multi-Marriage Phenomena:

What’s Wrong With Us?

Dr. Stephen Newdell

http://www.Ultimate-Romance2020.com   March 31, 2012

 

I find it interesting this weekend, two well regarded authors discuss marriage/divorce in America with what appear to me to be odd theories, based upon worldly psychology instead of otherworldly determination.

 

I’m not very fashionable, am I? I’m telling you most psychology is an utter failure.

 

We read these theories. Ms. Corder says, “Give yourself a minute to heal” and then says, “Healing requires time, darn it.”

 

“Darn it?” Is she saying it would be better if you could tell your lover or husband, “I’m done with you and it won’t ruin my day. I’m experiencing no pain about this. There’s the door, use it. I’ve got someone else waiting to take your place.”

 

An event that was not so long ago considered one of the ten worst in a lifetime, equal in its pain and grief to a funeral is now reduced to, “Give yourself a minute to heal.” And what a pity, you can’t get over it instantly.

 

Author Leo Averbach tells us: There are some individuals in second and third marriages who consider divorce manageable and not necessarily a tragedy. They have handled it once, so they will handle it again.”

 

The pattern I see here is a general feeling of “no goals for a marriage” and “no desire for stability” such that one would decide to ask, “What’s wrong with me? What do I need to change about myself so we can make this marriage continue and be happy?”

 

More directly, “Why do I have to win every argument? What real loss will I experience if I do not win this dispute?”

 

The feeling these writers give me is they want to allow everyone an excuse to say, “We’ve played in this sandbox long enough. Now I’m going to replace you with another playmate.”

 

In our ultra-modern brave new world we tell one another anything is acceptable but for the one behavior that is traditional. Maintaining your promise for stability and honesty is no longer in style. Allowing yourself just one lover and one commitment is not fashionable, apparently. With enough money you can afford to marry and un-marry two or three times and then just announce to the entire world through Face Book, “I’m in a relationship” or “I’ve changed my status from “married” to “it’s complicated.”

 

Does anyone see the insanity of this?

 

I ran into a blog comment from  http://www.facebook.com/BloggingTheologically 

 

Aaron Armstrong tells us: There are so many people today who say that they do not see the need of the incarnation; that they do not understand all this talk about the Son of God having come down to earth; that they do not understand this talk about the miracles and the supernatural; that they cannot follow this idea of the atonement and terms such as justification and sanctification and the rebirth. They say that they do not understand why all this seems to be necessary. They would argue like this: ‘Isn’t it the church that has evolved all these theoretical, purely abstract ideas? Aren’t they things which have been conjured up in the minds of theologians? What have they to do with us, and where is their practical relevance?’ I would like to point out that people who talk like this do so because they have not realized the truth about sin. They have not realized the full meaning of the biblical teaching about sin. They have not realized that they themselves are sinful.” ….

 

…. And I only wish his piece were much longer. I’m looking around saying, “Good introduction….where’s the rest of the article?”

 

Young girls parade around at beaches wearing not much more than shiny dental floss, sporting tattoos and pearls in their tongue and think they’re glamorous. Well…I suppose they are if you don’t mind getting connected to them and picking up five new sexually transmissible diseases. I suppose there’s nothing wrong with having sex with strangers so long as you never feel anything emotionally because your heart has a temperature just above freezing. (Good preservation temperature I understand – if you’re passing it from one of the dead to another about to die…)

 

How do such people expect to marry and hold a relationship together if all their experience has been to trade partners whenever the whim struck?

 

Mass media promotes this and statistics tell me the world pays big money to those mass media publishers who do. “Watch now as the woman takes pleasure from the serpent who deceives her!” The serpent is the Devil whom you believe is a myth. The deception is that sex is the only pleasure and when you’ve had enough of this one, you can experience another and then another, but you’ll never find happiness that way.

 

You’re missing the real element required to be happy. You’re missing real LOVE!

Love never fails. It doesn’t give up. It’s not puffed up with pride. It continues forever, even after death.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

 8 Love never fails.

Quick! Answer: Where did I find that quote? Who wrote such a thing?

It’s in a book in your house, covered with dust, unopened.

It’s in your Bible. 1 Corinthians 13  (emphasis mine)

But you see, it isn’t fashionable for me to say you should look there. Someone would prefer you study psychology with one crazy theory after another, and no solid answers about anything.

 

We, as a society have become far too arrogant and insolent. Mass media tells us everyone trades bodies as if we were all a bunch of rentable bicycles. Climb on, take a ride. Return it when you’re done.

 

We are so arrogantly self-assured we cannot admit to being wrong about anything! To admit “I was wrong” is to say, “The universe will collapse upon me. I won’t be in control and I’ll die!!!”

 

This is the speaking of a neurotic nearing the border of psychosis. It appears to me more and more of our society is so sick we can never say, “I’m sorry. I screwed up. I made a big mistake. I will change my behavior. I’ll do things differently in future. I won’t let this happen again. Forgive me.”

 

Lawyers have for years told their clients never to admit mistakes. I think they do this so the other party will become so angry it will guarantee a law suit. Doctors could avoid most malpractice suits simply by saying, “I’m sorry. I didn’t expect that outcome. I’ll do everything I can to help you heal from this mistake. Please forgive me. I’m not perfect and no doctor is.”

 

Parents would have better relationships with their children if they said, “You are right. I was wrong. I respect you, your intelligence, your personal space, and your ability to see and perceive the differences, similarities, and realities of this situation. I think you were smarter than I was in this case. Well done, Son!”

 

Teachers would have better experiences in classrooms if they admit to their mistakes.

 

Lovers would have FAR longer and strong relationships if they would say, “I’m sorry. I should never have said that. It’s my own emotional stuff coming out of my mouth and you are not to blame. It’s me. I have to meditate and consider and pray about this and deal with my own mental and spiritual issues in this regard. I was wrong. Please forgive me.”

 

I wonder if I made a mistake. My little publishing company has been writing lessons for a Love Course beginning with being a better lover (to attract attention) and after the 9th or 10th lesson we move into marriage counseling and relationship psychology and spiritual understandings about what makes for a long lasting relationship.

 

I reasoned, “Half the country has had a divorce. Amazon has over 8,000 titles about marriage counseling. Surely there will be an interest in this course.”

 

I may have to admit I was wrong! I think possibly I made a huge mistake. I should have run a double blind survey over a population of 10,000 people in several age groups to discover whether or not anyone really cares about holding marriages together any longer.

 

Perhaps we should have written a book about how to pick up one lover after another and feel no guilt when you pass misery on and poison the atmosphere.

 

The course is still available and as we see interest, more lessons will be added to help people understand how to read personalities, deal with their emotional problems and make solid long-term relationships in which they find happiness. The questions are: “Can I find a large population willing to discover what they must do to have a long-term monogamous relationship?” and  “Does a large population really care enough about their bad relationships to make changes in themselves?” I may get these queries answered to our satisfaction over the next year of advertising.

 

The articles (as the ones attached below in their raw form with URL references) tell me that everyone has an excuse and no one wants to admit to their own imperfections.

 

I may be dead wrong about this, but at least for this hour of writing my view is…

 

If you want to “meet God” you don’t need to drop (LSD) acid. You need to humble yourself. Likewise, If you want to make a loving relationship that lasts you don’t need another lover, or a bunch of girlfriends to whom you can tell your troubles. You need to sit quietly and ask, “What’s wrong with this picture? What mistakes have I made and what should I change about me?

 

I really don’t like blogs and I truly dislike WordPress.

 

I’d love to hear from you at Face Book. Blast your answer on my Wall. Type in Stephen Newdell and let me hear you this weekend. I accept ALL friend requests.

 

And please visit my website:

 

Dr. Stephen Newdell      www.Ultimate-Romance2020.com

 

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Honoree Corder

Honoree Corder

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3 Ways To Get Your Mojo Back After Divorce  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/honoree-corder/3-ways-to-get-your-mojo-b_b_1389562.html

Posted: 03/30/2012 10:35 am

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Nothing takes the wind out of someone's sails like getting a divorce. Even if your disposition prior to your split was happy-go-lucky -- even optimistic -- and you "wanted" the divorce, you may be surprised at how low and depressed you've been feeling.

Take heart, this is a common occurrence for the majority of divorced folks.

Yesterday I had a conversation with a newly single dad. He's been officially divorced for about eighteen months and said he is just now feeling better. My own divorce left me in a puddle on the floor for much longer than I would have liked, and I was among the "happily divorcing" set. I thought for sure I would effortlessly get divorced and on with my life -- ready, willing and able to continue to be successful and even find a new relationship.

Not so fast! It takes thought and effort to get your mojo back, so here are my top 3 strategies for feeling better faster after divorce:

1. Give yourself a minute to heal and establish a new normal. You're used to being in a relationship, waking up next to someone, having someone to hang out with on weekends and holidays. The end of a relationship requires healing, and healing is not instantaneous (darn it!). Find yourself a confidant and a great therapist, and engage fully in your healing process. Now is the time to discover and rediscover what you want to do, who you want in your life, and exactly how you want to spend your time.

2. Begin to do new things. Chances are you've eaten at the same restaurant more than a hundred times, gone to yoga three times a week, and spent long holiday weekends in Cabo. Dust off your inner third-grader and learn how to speak a new language, visit a new country, or learn how to line dance. The truth is, emotion is created by motion and the only emotions you're going to conjure sitting on your couch are those that require Kleenex. Grab your best friend (or find a new one) and try Pilates or spin, schedule a cruise or tour to Tuscany, or go back to school. Get yourself out in the world, doing things you find enjoyable, and soon you will feel better.

3. Stop telling your old story; design a new future vision and talk about that! It's tempting to tell and retell your end-of-relationship story. But let me ask you this: Does it make you feel better to tell that story? I'm going to guess the answer is no. In order to feel better, you've got to get excited about something, and that something is your future -- the future you get to decide in advance and get busy creating. Block out a few hours, pencil in hand (or crack open your computer), and describe how you would like your life to be right now and even five years from now. You can't focus on what happened and what you want to happen at the same time.

Remember this: Your best days are ahead of you, and the most magical of moments are yours for the making and the taking.

Honorée is the author of the books "Tall Order!" and "Master Strategies for Explosive Business Growth." She has created The Successful Single Mom 100-Day Transformation Program, The STMA™ 100-Day Action Plan Coaching Program, as well as The Tall Order! Success System and The Referral-Only Business System self-study courses.

 

 

Second And Third Marriages Are Failing At An Alarming Rate

Leo Averbach

Posted: 03/31/2012 1:45 am        http://www.huffingtonpost.com/leo-averbach/second-and-third-marriage_b_1326785.html

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"Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it." George Santayana

Santayana's warning could apply equally to personal history, like a divorce. Yet despite this, past statistics have shown that in the U.S., 50 percent of first marriages, 67 percent of second, and 73 percent of third marriages end in divorce. What are the reasons for this progressive increase in divorce rates?

Theories abound. One common explanation is that a significant number of people enter a second or third marriage "on the rebound" of a first or second divorce. Often the people concerned are vulnerable; they do not allow sufficient time to recover from their divorce or to get their priorities straight before taking their vows again. They enter their next marriage for the wrong reasons, not having internalized the lessons of their past experience. They are liable to repeat their mistakes, making them susceptible to similar conflicts, and another broken marriage follows.

Clearly that one factor alone does not account for such high rates of second and third failed marriages. There are some individuals in second and third marriages who consider divorce manageable and not necessarily a tragedy. They have handled it once, so they will handle it again. They may even recognize the warning signs earlier than they did first time around and are quicker to react, more determined to minimize the agony.

The growing independence between genders is thought to be one of the reasons for the significant increase in divorce rates of first marriages during recent decades. Women have become more financially independent and men have become increasingly more domestically independent. As these gender roles break down, each gender becomes more self sufficient in both arenas. When these individuals move on to a second or third marriage, they are likely to feel a responsibility to protect themselves emotionally and financially. It is therefore reasonable to assume that the greater economic and domestic self sufficiency gained with age adversely affects second and third marriage even more than it does first marriages.

However, I believe that the prime factor affecting the breakup of second and third marriages is that there is less glue holding the marriage together: children and family. Parent-child relationships can be a source of conflict in some marriages, but overall children act as a stabilizing factor and when children are absent, the marriage is prone to be rocked by minor storms.

Because the great majority of children born to married couples are born during their first marriage and before parents turn 35, most couples in a second marriage do not have common children to bind them together. Conversely, not having shared responsibility for kids means it's easier to leave when you are going through a rough patch. Perhaps "for the sake of the kids" is not reason enough to stay together, though it can sometimes save a relationship.

In addition, because the couple does not have children in common, the element of family is not as central in second and third marriages. Consequently, the desire to "preserve the family" is not a strong presence. For the couple, there is less at stake in allowing the marriage to collapse. This reduced importance of the family in second and third marriages may also explain why the couples concerned are said to be less "committed" than those in first marriages.

Ironically, the presence of children in second and third marriages, if they are from previous marriages, can cause problems and lead to tension. Having to adjust to your spouse's children and his/her relationship with them is often difficult for couples. Inevitably, rivalries and arguments arise, making this a constant area of conflict. In these cases, the children can be a destabilizing factor in a second or third marriage.

Generally speaking, relationships become increasingly tangled and complicated with subsequent marriages, as more and more individuals join the ever-expanding family. On a day-to-day level, maintaining those relationships is not easy and frequently generates animosities all around.

Clearly there are many people who learn the lessons of their first divorce and move on to happy, long second marriages. But all the evidence suggests that it gets harder and harder to keep the show on the road as you move onto the next marriage. It is this trend that is reflected in recent divorce statistics.

 

Follow Leo Averbach on Twitter: www.twitter.com/Breakupwriter

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You ARE Valuable -- In Tribute to Whitney Houston

February 9, 2012

MARRIAGE COMMUNICATION MYTHS

 

 

Welcome to our photo gallery! Take a look at Viktoria, addresses, hot Ukraine women

 

Perhaps the most commonly accepted myth is that learning to resolve your conflict through communication alone will bring you romance and an enduring happy marriage. Learning to communicate better is useful but only goes a few steps along a much longer path.

 

As I ask you these survey style questions think about how you would honestly answer.

 

 

Men, Are You Single And Searching? GO HERE

How important is it for me to be right, and to win the argument? BE HONEST. Most people will argue to win a fight even when their logic is so completely flawed they are obviously behaving like little kids in a liars match. 

We often get the pain of disagreement, the demand for “respect” of one’s “territory,” or a cold silence. Most therapists will explain active listening as a communication model.

 

Woman states her distress with “I” statements. No accusations are allowed. She’s only allowed to express what she feels and follow that with what she wants. For example, she says, “I feel neglected and of no importance to you when you stay at work late and never call to inform me about what you’re doing. I wish you would call and tell me you’re working late so I won’t prepare dinner and then ruin it, and wreck my own personal schedule waiting for you.”

 

Now Man is supposed to interpret by paraphrasing the content and what she feels, to confirm he “got it” right. It’s not about him, it’s about her.

 

“All right Woman, I understand you’re feeling neglected when I don’t call. It’s inconvenient for you to hold dinner and wait for me. You want me to call and let you know what’s up.”

 

This sounds like a reasonable idea, until Woman has to reinterpret and re-explain what she really feels. If Man complies by calling hereafter, the problem may resolve. But he might not and then the problem festers.

 

This has been touted as the solution to all problems. But it doesn’t cover all problems and it surely doesn’t cover the hidden emotional upsets both parties have – problems which must be handled to finality. Consequently, the method doesn’t work. Marital therapies based upon conflict resolution show only a 35% success rate. A year later just 18% of all couples say they have retained a benefit from this sort of communications model.

 

The past marriage counseling therapies have met with insufficient success.  The truth is, while Woman is complaining, she is still making Man wrong and his self-pride is wounded. The ride home after a therapy session probably is silent and the wall between the two is palpable. They paid a high price for a therapy session and their reward is they leave feeling worse than they felt when they arrived.

 

Active listening and non-critical, non-accusatory discussion is certainly helpful, but it’s only one step on a long road. I would certainly say that both parties should keep to the subject and avoid throwing every imaginable accusation at the other just to score another wound. Dredging up every old past incident does nothing to improve the present discussion. It simply becomes a game of score to see who can hurt the other the most! Such a strategy is incredibly stupid and immature.

 

I advise my reader; NEVER let anyone in any discussion change subject with additional endless accusations. This sort of disruptive disputing stratagem is designed to keep you off balance, to keep you off the subject, to have you constantly defending yourself, and to get nothing accomplished.

 

Staying on subject to deal with the present issue is certainly the right way, and finding points of agreement is like finding rungs of a ladder out of the hole. Yet active listening used exclusively, doesn’t save marriages. It’s nearly impossible for couples to do the technique well. Successful conflict resolution is not what makes for successful marriages. Resolving the present conflict may only be putting a band-aid over the real cause. The cause is still there and will crop up again and again in different forms.

 

Active Listening Technique  

 

One of the most surprising findings about the Active Listening Technique  is, most couples who have happy marriages rarely use active listening when they’re upset. While they may not use an active listening technique, they talk about the issue, and do not attempt to invalidate the partner with ugly names or accusations. As an example here’s an argument Charlie had with Belle.

 

There are many other “save your marriage” myths.

 

 

1. “Personality problems ruin marriages.” That’s not true. We all have our personal craziness – issues about which we’re not totally rational. But such problems don’t always interfere with marriage. The key to marriage is not a perfect personality. No one has that! It’s finding someone with whom you fit well; with whom you have that communication and reality.

 

It’s unrealistic to argue and throw the kitchen sink at one another. It would be unrealistic to assume every woman was like my most unlikable mother. It was unrealistic for a fellow I knew to go into complete silence and mental withdrawal every time his wife raised her voice to him. But that fellow had taught himself long ago to mentally go into a clam shell as a self-defense mechanism with his own mother, and now he had become a man who could not communicate with any woman in a real argument. The louder his wife became in her frustration, more he seemed to be in a catatonic trance. This was a relationship doomed.

 

Most normal people do not go in that zone. What they must understand is how to communicate without harming one another, to stay on subject, and deal with the problem at hand, then go deeper to find the cause, clean it up, and be willing to admit one of them has to change his/her behavior about this particular issue.

 

If you were to hear,

“I feel threatened when it appears you are flirting with other women/men. I wish you wouldn’t do that,” probably the only best response is,

“You’re right. I’m sorry. I have to change that behavior. I realize deep inside I’m not going to be happier with anyone else. I’m going to think about that a while and change.”

 

There’s no sense to defending your wrong action. You’re hurting your partner and you’ve got to be willing to point your finger at yourself and change your ways.

 

Let’s suppose you said, “It’s all harmless fun. I should be allowed to look.” Well….you can insist on that until you kill your marriage. You can extend that to, “I should be free to have sex with anyone I want. So long as I pay the bills here, I’m doing my job.” Such a statement is just an impossible premise. Faithfulness must be total fidelity, not half fidelity!

 

Marriage is an arch type of a mankind-to-God experience. You’re either faithfully married or your not. There is nothing in between. The more I try to wrap my mind around the “open marriage” concepts the worse the foreseeable problems become. Such ideas are like pouring ink into water attempting to clean it up. We have to decide we’re married and be faithful, or decide we are not married and behave like “strangers in the night.” There’s no middle ground.

 

Girl says, “My husband spends hours admiring beautiful naked women with huge plastic boobs on the Internet. I don’t look like them! I’m not going to be young and pretty forever. I think my husband is fucking me and thinking of someone else and it’s breaking my heart!” You can’t live that way. You have to finally look at the problem logically, point at yourself and make a change.

 

It matters not what sort of psychological notions and names you put to it, the problem is obvious and the change must be made. That is what makes marriage a spiritual journey. It’s a journey toward changing yourself, becoming more faithful, more pure, more right thinking. Anything less is a lie in action.

 

Right thought is everything! Anyone who tries to tell you any sort of marriage (or religious doctrine) is not about right thought is totally confused. It’s always about right thought.

 

You could attempt to justify, “There’s nothing wrong with my flirting with every girl in sight. It’s my wife’s reaction that’s the problem.” But the end answer is, you are not accommodating her fear and pain and in the end your stubborn behavior will kill the relationship.

 

Romance and Marriage myths and how to make romance really work here:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Romance-That-Works/374128159267937?sk=wall

 

 

February 2, 2012

 

What to Expect In Lesson #5

 “Moving From Oral Pleasures to Making Love”

Because your mind is your most important sex organ we won’t neglect it. I’ll go into some more serious discussion about attitude, thinking, and the broad canvas of what a relationship is and how to make it a truly loving long-term ultimate romance.

To do this I’ll be including some photographs and even some paintings. What could impressionist art have to do with love making?

What could understand art and life have to do with building real love?

If you miss this important lesson for the rest of your life you’ll be a bit sexually speaking like a kid who never learned to read! Handicapped forever due to ignorance. It’s you think education is expensive, try ignorance! It’s not the money. The low price is nothing. It’s the time. YOU need to spend the time to make major changes toward having a better personal love life.

·        You’ll begin to discover the breathtaking beauty and artistry in love making and attitudes about love.

·        You’ll discover next week why most every book about sex and relationships fails miserably and why this course is delivering to you the information no one else is teaching by which you can develop an ultimate-romance with artistry, your personal style, and flare.

The discussion about oral pleasures expands into extremely valuable and superior skills allowing you to please a woman before you enter her. When you understand this she will naturally move into multiple orgasms without any particular fantastic techniques required. Your body is properly equipped with what you need. You do not need a gigantic penis to succeed. You need the right understandings.

I’ll begin teaching women the finer points of pleasing themselves and their men too.

I request again that you be sure to make some time to go over, review and repeat the mental exercise I gave you previously. It’s foundational for your success and I will be introducing another “mental exercise” very soon. A sort of meditation – something to prompt your thinking.  You really need to experience this a few times to wrap your mind around this entirely advanced and different way of looking at love-making.

You’ll also get TWO big bonus reports!

More HERE        and HERE

 

January 19, 2012

       Repeat Performance!

 

Give The Woman You Love

Such Long Lasting Pleasure In Bed

She’ll Return Again and Again For More!

 

Any Age, Any Size

Even if you’re a life long

Premature Ejaculator!

 

Even if you think you’re

too small and you suspect you’ve never really pleased a woman.

 

You’ll Discover How to Give Any Healthy Woman Long Lasting Pleasure In Bed and shift her mind from “liking you a lot” to the realization you’re the man she can’t live without!

 

This is for smart men women whose relationships combine emotion, and intelligence. You’ll go from fumbling and guessing your way through dates, sex sessions, and disappointments, trying to interpret her body language, and what to do next, to ...

...making your present or future relationship into a...

... Beautiful Long-Term Romance!  

 

{Women Love This Course Too!}

 

Discover what women REALLY want and need in and out of bed, what she needs to make the decision to become your wife, and what men need to create a perfect Long-Term Happy Romance.

 

            Have you concluded you need a real love, and a Long-Term Happy Romance? This 52-lesson study will show you how to create the romance everyone secretly desires! We Promise:  Read and think about these lessons, one each week for a year and watch your romance dramatically improve every week!!! She’ll return with a smile and kiss every day For More of Your Repeat Performance!

 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Repeat Performance!

www.Ultimate-Romance2020.com

 

LESSON 1:

In Quest of The Ultimate Romance

 

We’re going to delve into “The Quest For Orgasm” in the first lesson, but before we get that far I want to offer you some thoughts for the tone of the course.

 

I can give you quite a lot of information leading toward how to be the best lover any woman could imagine – the sort of man women adore, yearn, even fight for.

 

The idea that being a great lover is exclusively mentioned in the physical sense is entirely wrong. Without real friendship, love and trust, you’ll never be that woman’s best lover and she will never know the Ultimate Extended Orgasmic Response of which she is capable.

Too many young self-styled “sex teachers” promise to teach young men how to “find a fling.” The poor devils work from the grossest point of view because they’ve never truly loved anyone and have no real idea what love might be about. They are not particularly intelligent and they speak to a crowd that has never given any thought to what love really means or the desire for a long-term Ultimate Romance. Their approach comes from their own emotional pain, anger, and covert hostility, and is destined to extend their misery to everyone else.

 

Their pains are borne on the bleached driftwood of broken families and their “sex training” comes from bars and pornographic movies. Their minds are poisoned and they pass on poisonous fruit.

 

Most of these “sex teachers” do not teach about cultivating love. They teach “how to abuse your lover,” because that is the only attitude they’ve ever seen or known. And I need to explain that to you before we launch into the full course.

 

We’re going to raise our eyes toward the clouds. Look up to the top of that plateau. We’re headed up there where the air is clean and cool, the sun is warm and golden, and love sparkles over singing streams every day.

 

I’m going to talk about sex quite a lot in the first ten earliest lessons, and as we progress I’ll infuse what is required to build a genuine happy long-term ultimate romance. We don’t stay on “one track” but rather weave these ideas together, because that really is the way people learn and the way the human mind thinks, (contrary to the ways you’ve been forced to “learn” in your past school years.)

 

I’m also going to talk about a few side branches of the subject because love and sex do not exist alone in a vacuum. I’m possibly one of the more thoughtful men you’ll meet. I never put anything into a mental box and I don’t get stuck in other people’s considerations. I never accept what others have said or what they believe without doing my own logical analysis.

 

Let’s begin with an overview of what real romance is about. It’s sad to see so many young people have been taught by the pornographers to abuse their lovers and distain real love. They know a lot about how to rub bodies together and nothing about expressing love through the activity. The result has been a great many quick trysts and a lot of emotional pain.

 

We’ll cover how to be a terrific lover; everything from what to do physically to what approach to take mentally, and we’ll include several mental surveys, exercises and meditations to help you think of things you’ve not considered until now.

 

If you have the courage to carry on through the entire 52-week course you’ll wind up knowing more about pleasing a partner, and having a wonderful, sexy and loving relationship than you could learn from several other courses selling on line now for shockingly high prices. They charge hundreds of dollars. I charge $1.99 per lesson. Why do I sell this at such a low price?

 

I do this because I want a huge mass of men and women to benefit from this information thereby creating many happier relationships and marriages. I hope together we’ll build a stronger foundation for a society that knows the present day liberal view (which really took hold in the 1960’s) has led to a terrible downward spiral for all society.

 

Please help yourself and tell a few friends about what you’re learning and invite them to look into this too. For a price lower than what you’d pay for a cup of fancy coffee you and they can improve their lives and their love life considerably and progressively. The benefits you’ll gain here will last a lifetime.

 

Discover Much More of This. Visit the Course Lessons Page and get the entire First Lesson FREE

 

 

An Opportunity For True Romance and

A Long-Term Happy Marriage

 

I write this material and sell it for about 8-pennies-per-page because I want a huge mass of men and women to benefit from this information thereby creating many happier relationships and marriages. I hope together we’ll build a stronger foundation for a society that knows the present day liberal view (which really took hold in the 1960’s) has led to a terrible downward spiral for all society.

 

Please help yourself and tell a few friends about what you’re learning and invite them to look into this too. For a price lower than what you’d pay for a cup of fancy coffee you and they can improve their lives and their love life considerably and progressively. The benefits you’ll gain here will last a lifetime.

 

I’m going to treat you like an adult and occasionally show you a lot of very graphic photographs. Rather than sterilize sex, we can celebrate it and promote beautiful sex which expresses love between two faithful partners.

 

 

If you, like me, get over 200 e-mailings daily you understand how easy it is to miss something. Be sure to put our email address into your “contacts list” so our notes won’t be lost in the “spam folder.”

 

Because this is an introduction to the course, I want to speak for a moment to Jewish and Christian Conservatives in my reading audience. If you do not count yourself among the faithful, please be patient with this momentary side note.

 

I’m a bit of a conservative and a believer in a Judeo-Christian mixture. I never did believe sex is sinful. I think a lot of people misunderstand what the Bible is really trying to tell them.  In fact the Bible doesn’t say sex is sinful. The Bible says we should marry and stay with one partner. And particularly that discussion is a lesson in marrying into God’s family, keeping His commandments, receiving the benefits of His kindness, and remaining faithful to Him.

 

What we do with our lover/partner for sexual pleasure is not otherwise discussed. So, I’m a bit light hearted about this whole subject. I may mention The Creator as the designer of your body in passing but no one is required to accept my opinion.

 

Finite man has a bit of a problem thinking of an infinite God who has already imagined and fantasized everything you have. If He hasn’t He can’t be infinite, can He? So, we might say God’s perfection is beyond the definition of man’s understanding.

 

Pity a lot of pastors somehow got the consideration that all sex is evil. That was a teaching from the old Papacy. It’s not in the Bible. It’s a sure thing this fear of learning about being good in bed has ruined a lot of marriages and left a lot of preacher’s wives miserable.

 

It has been written that looking upon nakedness is sinful, but in truth poor people in the era it was written had little to wear and often were seen naked washing their only garment and bathing in a stream. So, the idea that you can’t look is a bit contradictory. What goes on in your mind is the issue, and right thought has always been the real issue with Christianity and Judaism, and with most other world religions too.

 

I have a business teacher/friend who writes,

 

“I realize that we’re all at different places in our journeys and some might get all wigged out when I talk about divine purpose or mention that success book that I love (the Bible). But I never do it from the standpoint of force or judgment. It is part of who I am and the reality is I love all people.” Sandi Krakowski

 

Christians believe that the Holy Spirit is the life force of God entered into those who sincerely want to be His children, to be eventually “raised” by God to grow up and become like Him. THAT is the true gospel most people don’t know. Even most Christians have never heard it.

 

Consider: If a man and wife should cleave to one another and become like one flesh – that is to say, they marry and in mind, emotions and spirit become one life together – they cannot ever separate and be completely happy and feeling “whole,” unless they married with the thought that this “marriage” was intended to be temporary.

 

Your left half cannot tear itself away from your right half.

 

The New Testament explains that we will be adopted into God’s family, protected, loved, and raised by God to become like Him!

 

The life force of God, this Holy Spirit, made one with you cannot tear itself away from you any more than your left half can tear itself away from your right half. Some day, some of us believe, this Holy Spirit will be called away from the physical Earth to a higher plane of existence, a higher frequency, an alternate or parallel universe, if you like, and when He goes we’re going with him because He and we are one.

 

The Atheist may try to prove that God is mythological but I can answer. It is virtually impossible to prove mathematically that the universe we know formed accidentally. The finest minds of physics for the past 100 years have admitted there must be an author to the universe and life.

  

You can find this discussion in greater depth. It’s an Amazon Kindle book. It’s a philosophy and theology piece you may enjoy. HERE

 

Having said all of this, I remind you, I’m not holding much back. This course is not for The Conservative Christian Ladies Quilting Club. It’s going to shake up a lot of viewpoints and “beliefs” or “considerations.” I don’t offer it to agree with what you already know.  I offer it to help you change your thinking and GROW. There are several graphic photos here. Don’t open this in the office! You’re an adult and you’re expected to be capable of dealing with the sexual realities of life including graphic photographs.
 

 For All of Us

 

I touch upon the subject of “religion” quickly a few times in the earliest lessons and then I’ll be off the subject for 99% of the work.

 

My most important counsel is to find a partner whom you can LOVE, and with whom you can make a real home. Don’t choose for good looks or money, nor intelligence alone. I admire many pretty women but I would never marry for beauty. One must marry into a family and a people with whom you are compatible.

 

He/She must be one you can trust with your love, your life and your money, with your children, with your future and the sincere promises of your marriage. Gentlemen, treat your woman-partner with dignity, respect, and something close to worship.

 

Trust her and respect her intelligence. Don’t insult your partner by attempting to be a tyrant or a control freak. Allow that individual to be self-determined – because you can’t control (and never have controlled) anyone.

 

There's much more to tell you in Lesson #1, and it's FREE. Get It HERE

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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